Seven Questions You Need To Ask Yourself About Your Marriage
Having asked your spouse to marry you or having been asked to be married seems like the only question you would ever need to ask about marriage. We thought we asked all the right questions before getting married. What other questions are there to ask or answer? Maybe there are more like the following which need careful and prayerful considerations for your marriage.
Do we have a “normal” marriage? Are you comparing what you do in your marriage to what others do and think, “We must be normal. We do the same thing in our marriage that others do.” Or are you asking God what your marriage should be like? Never settle for an average marriage. An excellent one is the only one God planned and will accept (Philippians 1.9,10).
What can I do for you? Ask your spouse this question every day. Acquiring the selfless, servant’s attitude of Philippians 2.1-4 is the mindset each spouse needs to develop in their marriage. A marriage which shows more interest in self than spouse will be a divided house, not a united house.
What are we going to do if…? A marriage does not plan for a spouse to lose a job, commit adultery, develop a disease, or move across the country away from parents. You never plan for “if,” and “if” is often not a choice you make for your marriage. Here is where you pray for courage, ask for strength, and remember your vows — “I promised” (Luke 9.62).
What time of day is best for us to talk? There is a time. When is it? Is it while she is washing dishes or he is working on the car? Is it while he’s watching TV or she is folding clothes? Is it early morning or before bedtime? Is it while she is upset or when he comes home from work? There has to be a time to talk about what is bothering you, or where we are gong to send our children to school. Find the time. Take the time. Schedule it. You need it.
How long are we going to do this? You have reached an impasse. You have let an attitude go on for months. You have lost your spiritual closeness. You are spending more money than you make. Your marriage has a limit. It will break. Its strength is not in how much pressure you put on it, but in what you do to keep the pressure off of it.
Is our marriage serving God or us? A self-serving marriage is one most people have. What many marriages need is a good dose of spiritual intimacy. It is an intimacy we leave out. Some couples never consider it. If a married couple studies, prays, serves, teaches, and worships together, they will see their marriage reflect more the image of God rather than their own image. Are you and your spouse both headed in that direction? It has taken our marriage beyond our highest expectations.
What will our children say we believe about marriage? How you treat your marriage leaves a legacy for the next generation They will see it as terrible or terrific, a joy or a curse, a disaster or a delight. Instead of leaving your children something to live off of the you die, give them something while you live to look forward to — marriage. It is what God created for you and for them.
We have interacted with a lot of couples before and after marriage. You can prevent many of the problems many marriages face today by asking the right questions. While the decision to marry someone is one of the most significant decisions you will make in your life, the questions you ask of your marriage with be the second most significant.