The First Need of Marriage
Most couples do not realize this, but spiritual intimacy is the first need of every couple. Forget this and fail to even look into what this intimacy is, and your marriage suffers and never - I mean never - reaches the potential God has in mind for your marriage. If having a “church wedding” meant so much to you, or having an outdoor wedding under the skies God made, was your goal for a wonderful beginning to your marriage? Did you leave God at the altar?
I spoke to a photographer a few weeks ago. He said, “I have done weddings where both the man and woman were Christians, and weddings where nighter the man nor woman were Christians, or perhaps one of them was. There is a great difference in these weddings.” I can only imagine there being such a big difference in the marriage where both are Christians versus the marriages with no Christians or only one Christian. If you and your spouse pray together, study the Bible together, and worship God together, you will see the dynamic of your marriage reach a level of holiness, sacredness, and honor. It becomes just the way God intended for it to be, and you and your spouse will experience the joy marriage brings.
A Surprise Discovery
You may have thought you were marrying that “perfect” person. No one could tell you otherwise. You found out for yourself it was not true. What do you do now with the weakness of your spouse? Are you bitter? Mocking? Harsh?
Stop focusing on the sin of your mate! He or she needs help as much as you for your are not perfect either. Both of you are depending upon God for grace, mercy, and help for you to be for Him and for each other what you need to be. Let the word, the scriptures, the mirror, show you the flaws. Let the word help you correct your sin. Be honest about yourself. Let Ephesians 4.15,25 and Psalm 32.1-7 be part of your marriage policy.
“Half the problems in life come from people being afraid to go straight at things.”
Love is YOUR Responsibility
No one is more responsible for love in your marriage than you. It is in equal moments from one spouse or the other. Love IS your choice. Love IS where God has placed you in your marriage.
How do you have love and keep love in marriage?
- Learn the art of touching.
- Take time to honestly communicate and build trust.
- Write a lot of short love notes to one another.
- Get to know the One who gave love first - God. Then, love your mate that way.
- Say “thank you” to your mate.
- Say “I love you” a lot.
- Instead of saying “I love you,” occasionally change that to “I need you.” It will add a rich dimension to your marriage.