The Marriage of Two Christians
“The marriage of two Christians is an everlasting marriage.” Many Christians believe this to be true. Is it? There is one question many Generation X (people born between 1965 and 1980) could be asked: “When did your parents divorce?” It is possibly a question more young people whose parents are Christians will be answering in the next generation. In the church you attend you are probably witnessing an increase in the numbers of second and third marriages.
When children grow up and get married, will they look back at their parents and their “damaged” marriage and believe marriage is not everlasting? We hope not. Those children may determine within their marriages, “I am not going to get a divorce. My marriage will not turn out like my parents’.” Then, as they begin their marriages and begin to drift apart from their spouses, they see their marriages on the threshold of separation and divorce just like the generation before them. They soon see no hope for their marriages. They begin to have similar thoughts like their parents may have had that somehow putting asunder what God joined together will not damage their children like they were hurt by their parents’ divorce. Sadly, the cycle is repeated.
Some married Christians live in quiet desperation. They feel stuck in a marriage full of anger, resentment, hurt, and blame with a lack of affection, respect, spirituality, and love. If you are in that type of marriage, there is hope, not hopelessness. There is an opportunity to find and/or return your marriage back to one of patience, affection, forgiveness, hope, security, and endurance.
Jesus saw a group of people in a seemingly hopeless situation and described it this way: “And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were distressed and scattered like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:35,36).
Some marriages are defined by “distressed and scattered.” Although the situation looks hopeless, God has a way to change a discouraging marriage into an encouraging one. First, complete each other rather than competing against each other (Genesis 2:19-22). God made man and woman different, but not to battle one another. See your spouse as a complement to you and compliment him/her for it. Do not criticize him/her because they were made and think differently.
Second, give holy honor to marriage. Having a holy, sacred, and sanctified view of your marriage inspires you to keep out and remove what is trying to destroy it. Purity is not only something needed before marriage, It is needed within marriage (Philippians 4:8; Hebrews 13:4). Put up hedges around your marriage. Hold your marriage in high regard. Do not allow a person or thing to separate you from your spouse (James 4:1,2). Maintain the oneness in marriage by paying attention to the one you married. Go in the same direction - toward God.
Third, understand marriage is to multiply a godly legacy. Passing along values to the next generation cannot escape our notice. Every marriage paves the way for the next generation. One question every couple needs to ask themselves is “What will our children say we believed about marriage?” IsIt is a humbling question, which will cause you to notice and review what your marriage is like. Chances are your children will repeat your marriage in theirs. Work now to make it reflect the image of God.