Resources/Articles

I Have Reached A Point In Marriage

Some couples reach a point of impasse in their marriage. They cannot go any longer. They have reached their limit. This is it. They reach a point where the circumstances will never improve. It will not get any better. It is time to end their marriage before it gets any worse.

I too have reached a point in my marriage. Not to end it but to do something different. I have reached the point to PRAY. When I pray to help me be the mate I should be for my spouse, my attitude toward the seemingly unbearable circumstance changes. When I pray for my spouse, I look at her differently. When I ask God to help our marriage, help is what he provides. “The fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5.16). I have reached the point in my marriage to pray.

I have reached the point to LOVE. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13.4-8). When I reach the point of love in marriage as God intends for me to demonstrate it, my marriage looks different than if bitterness, disappointment, or anger were to fill my heart. I have reached the point to love, which means I am giving rather than receiving. It smells so good to my marriage.

I have reached the point to FORGIVE. Ephesians 4.30-32 describes an angry, reviled heart which grieves the Holy Spirit. Holding on to that attitude increases the chances reconciliation will never take place. Every spouse needs to participate in extending more mercy toward their spouse. When your mate makes a mistake, prepare yourself to forgive. Reach that point in your marriage, or your relationship is destined for ruin.

I have reached the point of HONESTY. Truth needs to be the language we speak and the air we breathe in marriage. If you are hiding, covering up, or holding on to secrets, you do so to the destruction of your marriage. While you think being honest means your mate will not love you anymore or withdraw from you, think again. If you have ever wanted and needed trust in your marriage, honesty is the key. Do not lose your trust for one another. Prevent further damage with honesty. Reach the point where honesty is in all the words and thoughts your heart wishes to give your spouse

I have reached the point of TRUST. I believe my mate has no intent to hurt me. Satan does, but not my wife. If I hurt from the actions of my spouse or if I hurt my mate, it is because Satan has turned our hearts agains each other. My marriage is not about winning a battle. It is about establishing confidence in our marriage as an enduring, long-lasting covenant relationship. With that attitude, I am constantly trying to win my spouse’s heart. She trusts me to love her. I cannot take her for granted as if she is mine without doing something to win her to me daily. I need to trust God for him to give me strength to hold to my wife. I have reached the point where, regardless what our marriage faces, I trust my spouse to be beside me — all the way.