The Marriage Lie


...and with all deceit of unrighteousness for them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth,
that they might be saved. And for this cause God
sendeth them a working of error, that they should
believe a lie.
2 Thessalonians 2:10,11

Jake was having a conversation with his friend Dave at a restaurant. Jake knew Dave was seeing a marriage counselor and had asked Dave how his marriage was going.

“Not too well,” Dave said. For several minutes Jake exhorted him to work at it and not give up. 

“You can make this marriage work if you really want to,” Jake said.

Dave did not want to be reminded of his responsibility as a Christian and a husband to his wife. “I just do not think God ever intended for me to be this unhappy,” he said.

A person’s happiness is not always determined by the things given or done for him. Many people have believed that lie. As long as we, like Dave, continue to care on for OUR happiness, we will move from one terrible relationship to another. Do not be guilty of retaining the lie that the world has readily received: “My happiness is most important.”

A marriage relationship is established and maintained with truth, not lies. The truth about marriage is that it involves two people, not what makes one person happy. Marriage, like other relationships, is a “one another” relationship. God addresses the character of every relationship, even marriage, by saying, “Love one another,” “Be kind to one another,” “Be hospitable to one another,” “Forbear one another,” “Provoke one another to love and good works,” “Forgive one another,” and “Pray for one another.” The more we act upon these principles, the greater joy our marriage will receive. Joy will only be received when we give (Acts 20:35). Joy comes as a by-product of our efforts in love, patience, self-control, communication, goodness, kindness, and faithfulness. It does not come to us by “right”, but by work.

What would really help Dave is working through his problems rather than walking out on them. Trying to escape will only increase the strand of selfishness. It will be carried into the next relationship and infect it. Stop lying to yourself. Make your marriage work. If your marriage is already working, thank God for providing you a mate that brings joy to your life.